Someone wise once told us to celebrate life's milestones. But what if those milestones never come? After all, as humans we look forward to them. Better yet, why are they so long? A mile? Some of us will never reach the most simplest of them, it's just too hard, impossible. So, as a special needs mother I'm changing the famous quote. It now will be celebrate life's inchstones. They may be little things to some, but very significant to others.
On that note, Piper reached an inchstone recently. She can now stand unsupported against the couch. This is awesome in two ways, one is that Piper does not like being let go of. She gets freaked out and has a panic attack. Two is that Piper has not had the strength to stay standing for more than a couple of minutes in the past. At almost 5 years old, this is the inchstone she has achieved. It's the simple act of standing while supporting yourself for more than a few minutes and she's achieved it! Go Piper!
I am looking forward to the next inchstone. I don't know what it will be as I don't have a manual on my daughter. I have no one to compare her to. I don't even know how this happened, or what went wrong to make her this way. I wish I did. I wish I had a book on Piper's inchstones. That would make me feel better wouldn't it? The book would tell me that by 6 years she would talk, she would say Mommy, tell me that she loves me. By 7 years she would walk, run by 9 and bound towards me...wrap her arms around me in an embrace. But I know this isn't true. There is no book on Piper. There is no book on life. I must pull up my sleeves and do the best that I can everyday. There is no reason this happened to my beautiful daughter, our family. It just is. This, this may be the most depressing thought of all. Because that means that there is just nothing. And that nothing is what gets me by. Think of nothing. Feel nothing. Remain. Static.
Moments like this inchstone bring me out of my nothing and make me happy. Make me realize that there is something. But I know it won't stay. Something will be gone soon and the nothing will fill me again. I hope the next inchstone comes soon...